No matter what relationship it is I seem to destroy it. I tend to freak out by little things and make assumptions which are mostly untrue. I will obsess about the issue and go crazy and send who ever the person is loads of very crazy text. I get so worked up and so stressed that it sometimes just makes me cry or short of breath .

Then when I read back the messages I sent and how I reacted, I think to myself ‘What was I thinking?’

It’s almost like I can’t stop myself . Like I have no control . Like I have this hatred so deep inside of me that it seeps out into my life and my relationships and I feel the need to hurt everyone around me . Then when I’ve done it I feel incredibly ashamed and guilty .

I really struggle when some one criticises me . When they do, I get angry and freak out and say hurtful things and get very defensive. Once I’ve done this I get an overwhelming sense of guilt and feel the need to apologise and fall apart which is just pathetic . I also then tend to play the sympathy card and tell the particular person I have a problem with, that I’m really depressed and that I’m messed up and that they don’t want to be friends with me or in a relationship with me as I’ll just act really weird .This is an unhealthy cycle and I can see its pushing people away from me. Most people are really understanding and kind at first but I think there is only so much bad behaviour and arguments that a person can take.

This really isn’t normal behaviour . It needs to stop . This doesn’t happen everyday, perhaps only 25% of the time. However this 25% is enough to ruin a relationship . Help me!

Answer by Connor
Well you’re able to recognize these unhealthy traits in yourself, which is a great first step. Many people in this situation are too blind to recognize it. My suggestion is you find a therapist, someone unbiased and professional who can help you deal with all of the buried feelings and emotions that are causing you to act the way you do.